Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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