I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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