this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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