I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
