This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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