He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Everclear isn't food dammit
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