i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
