When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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