BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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