I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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