Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
