walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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