If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
