I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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