What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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