Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
