If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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