ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
