How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
