you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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