WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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