Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
