Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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