Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
