4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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