Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
