so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
