Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
