I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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