I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
