You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
