is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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