im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
