Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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