this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you have to choose: penises or morals?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
