Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
