You just made me feel so damn special
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
