Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
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Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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