I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
