Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
