Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This is my gift to your gina
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
