I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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