I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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