Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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