This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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