even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just high enough for therapy.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
