I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
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What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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