They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize