But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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