Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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