Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
