Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i wish my penis had a tongue
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
