he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
birth control should be required to get into college
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
