I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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