I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
