that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT