Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
