is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
