Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
