I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator