when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
