Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
