i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize