She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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