Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
