she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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