I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
