shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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