He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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