whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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